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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422259">don't freak out, okay ?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClemGrey_19/pseuds/ClemGrey_19'>ClemGrey_19</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:22:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClemGrey_19/pseuds/ClemGrey_19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It felt like her head was empty. <br/>It felt like her heart was broken, or full. She didn’t know. <br/>She didn’t know what to feel. What she was supposed to feel</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Meredith Grey/Andrew DeLuca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>don't freak out, okay ?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey, I'm trying something. <br/>I wrote this in two hours so I don't know if it looks like something <br/>I hope you'll like it </p><p>PS : English isn't my first language so don't hesitate to tell me if something isn't good writing. </p><p>have a good day. <br/>can't wait to see merluca back together. because they will, right ? ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was cleaning. <br/>She was acting weird. <br/>She was cleaning because he was acting weird. <br/>She was acting weird because he was acting weird. <br/>She didn’t know why or how, but she was standing in her leaving room, waiting to find something to clean, to wash, to broke..something who could explain why her boyfriend was acting weird. He was both distant and closer than ever.</p><p>The kids were at school, amelia and maggie had moved out before andrew moves in.<br/>Today was her day off and she hated it. <br/>It was the end of the morning and she had cleaned almost all the house and had enough of it. So she went to her (their) bedroom. <br/>She tried to sleep but failed. <br/>She tried to watch a movie but failed. <br/>So she decided to clean her (their) room. She had to pick up new sheet in the drawer. It was her turn, it was always andrew who change them.</p><p>She heard a bruise when she opened the guardrobe and saw something fall. She looked at the floor instinctively. <br/>It was a little box. <br/>A very little box. <br/>Black..</p><p>She looked at the box during long minutes, without moving, without talking, without breathing, her hands were still on the opening bars.<br/>She knew exactly what that was<br/>She slowly lowered herself and took the little box carefully between her hand. <br/>As it could hurt her. <br/>And indeed, it could.</p><p>She lifted her up, the box between her shaking hands. She closed her eyes a few seconds before open the box. <br/>Her mouth wide opened when she was, what was probably the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen. <br/>Delicate, simple, perfect. <br/>She tried to clear her throat.<br/>She was interrupted when she heard a noise from the hallway. <br/>It was feet. <br/>And again, she knew exactly who that was.</p><p>« Don’t freak out, okay ? » andrew approached, a large smile on his sweet face. <br/>He had his hands in front of him, like he had to protect himself or to tame her.</p><p>Meredith’s eyes went from andrew to the ring and then, from the ring to andrew. She didn’t know what to say, what to do, what to look at.</p><p>It felt like her head was empty. <br/>It felt like her heart was broken, or full. She didn’t know. <br/>She didn’t know what to feel. What she was supposed to feel </p><p>She opened her mouth, for what ? she didn’t know. She hadn’t any words in her mind. <br/>She was in shock. <br/>Was it possible to be in SPT for a ring ? just for a stupid beautiful ring ?</p><p>She lowered her head to the ring again. she didn’t know what to do ? again. <br/>Maybe, she just wanted to throw this stupid ring to andrew’s face. His handsome face. </p><p>Speaking of him, she could feel his eyes on her. They were burning on her. <br/>When she mets his look, she saw so many things. She could tell he was anxious, stressed and horrified. <br/>He was scared, scared of her, scared of her reaction. He knew her so well. And sometime, it makes her want to run away. Far away of him and of his lovely eyes, his hot body, his sweet lips, his mind who wanted to tell her how much he loved her every minute of every day. </p><p>She could run, she thought. It wouldn’t be the first time, and probably not the last. <br/>But she was trapped. He was at the enter of the room. <br/>So, she couldn’t run. <br/>Not this time. <br/>To bad for you meredith grey. </p><p>*<br/>*<br/>*<br/>*</p><p>They were both standing, a few feets between them, lost in each other eyes. </p><p>« i… » she began, shaking. « i was cleaning » she whispered</p><p>« weird » he said, hoping for a smile or a laugh from her. But it never came. </p><p>« yeah » she murmured. </p><p>And the silence fills in the room, again. </p><p>« i knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to hide it here » he smiled, still hoping he hadn’t screw it</p><p>« hide what » she said </p><p>« the ring » he smiled, approaching her. </p><p>(Couldn’t he stop smiling like that ?) she thought. <br/>Apparently not. </p><p>He was close to her in a blank of an eye and she stopped breathing. <br/>Again. <br/>Wonder why her brain was so ridiculously incapable today ? with him looking at her like that. </p><p>He took the little box from her soft hand and cleared her throat. <br/>“well” he scratched his hair nervously. <br/>“I didn’t want to do it like that but I’m afraid that if I leave the house now, I will never have the permission to come back so…” he laughed anxiously. <br/>She was watching him, with her big eyes and it didn’t help him. </p><p>He took a deep breath and put one of his knee on the hard floor. He slowly took her hand in his. She was remaining silent. </p><p>“Meredith…umh…” (breath deluca) he thought<br/>His whole body was shaking and he was probably tachycardic.</p><p>“mer… I know you hate big declarations and cheesy things” she smiled softly. <br/>It was almost nothing but it was here. He was all he needed to continue what he thought was the best decision of his life. </p><p>“but, I couldn’t find another way to do it, so here I am, almost sitting on the floor” he rubbed her hand with his thumb. </p><p>“two years ago, I did something so embarrassing that I wanted to escape the state. I kissed you…I stole a kiss from you and…and…it woke up something inside me. Something I didn’t know… I took a few days to process this but…” he stopped </p><p>“well, this is ridiculous.” He stood her and came closer to her.</p><p>“I spend weeks preparing a stupid speech, but…” he cupped her head with his hands and sighed. </p><p>“I love you Meredith, you know that right ?”<br/>She didn’t move, she didn’t talk, and it felt like the ceiling was about to fall over him. <br/>He squeezed her hands softly and after what he thought was the eternity, she nodded at him. </p><p>“ I love you, I admire you, I respect you, I cherish you, I adore you…and I want to do it until my last breathe…unless you throw me by the window right now because you can stand me anymore and you want me out of you sigh.” He rambled, rubbing his hand in his hair as he always do when he is nervous. </p><p>She chucked. Her heart felt lighter than before. </p><p>“if you say no, honestly, I don’t know how I will survive because… I can’t…”a tear escape his eyes and her heart tighten <br/>“I can’t stop loving you Meredith…I can’t. and I can’t stop thinking about you, and hugging you, and making love to you and eating ice cream with ellis, playing dinosaurs with bailey or cooking with zola…I can’t…” he stopped a second. <br/>“I love them, I love you and…I can’t live without you…” (you’re miserable deluca) he thought <br/>“you’re the love of my life Meredith. And even if I’m not yours, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and the kids…I want to be here for you whenever you need me and even if you don’t need me. I want to be here” <br/>“so” he was shaking like he never had. He put out the ring from the box and took her hand. <br/>“Meredith Elizabeth grey…would you like to marry me ?” he looked at her, his eyes full of hope and tears. </p><p>Meredith was definitely in sock. She knew it was going to happen. She knew him. But she wasn’t ready. <br/>But what was a reason for pushing him away ? <br/>What was a reason for running away ? <br/>No. absolutely no. </p><p>She looked at him and all the love she had for him came to the surface. <br/>There was no way of telling him no. she couldn’t letting him go. </p><p>She put her hand on her neck and brushed her nose againt his, as they were closest than ever. <br/>“Andrew…” he murmured. <br/>“you’re not ready ? I got it..I’m sorry Meredith, I should…” he rambled before she put her finger against his lips<br/>“shut up and listen to me, okay ?” she smiled<br/>He nodded. He was lost. He wanted to punch himself. <br/>“I love you Andrew… I really do…” she smiled to her ears. <br/>And then it hit him. She was saying what he thought she was saying right ?<br/>“I’ll marry you right now if I could” she murmured, blushing. </p><p>“really ?” he said<br/>“really”<br/>A loud sigh escaped his mouth and his kissed her like he never did. she said yes.</p>
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